Sunday, April 06, 2008

(04.06.08) Recommends:

The LA64.
#53: The Alexander Ruler of the World Building.
830 N. Van Ness.

(explanation of series here.)

As we've previously mentioned, when we first started[1] driving to work in the mornings we often tried to find secret routes! that would cut down on the commute time. As we've previously mentioned, this task, somewhat paradoxically, always always always just adds to the time.

. Sometimes, when the secret routes! align just right, you are prone to see something the likes of which is rarely seen by human eyes. Like, e.g., the Alexander Ruler of the World Building. Before we get to a full shot of this building, the story must be properly set up. First, the area is completely residential, with nondescript houses and apartments. It is relevant to note this fact, because before the full glory of the AROTWB reveals itself, the driver stumbles upon this:

Now, accuse us of having our minds in the gutter, or of having an unrefined sense of architecture, but when we see a gigantic pinkish-purplish wall, we fully expect that the establishment will be called The Pink Poodle, or The Pink Flamingo, or The Pink Rhino, or The Pink Taco, or The Pink Burrito (are there strip clubs called The Pink Burrito? We don't know the answer to that, but we're pretty sure there should be). So, you can understand our confusion at seeing what we presumed was either a brothel or a strip club right there in the middle of an unassuming residential street.

At this point, we know what you're thinking: but this is LA, bro-sauce; things are just different here!

And you are right. This is LA. Things are different. And hence, instead of a strip club, you get perhaps the only thing more incomprehensible for a residential neighborhood.

You get this:

You get an apartment building decked out in full Ancient Greek theme. What kills us about this picture is that, to the dude walking in front of the building, there is absolutely nothing strange with this scene. It's like every morning, he wakes up, goes for a 7am walk, and passes an apartment building that non-subtly pays tribute to one of the most successful military commanders in history. No harm, no foul.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

[1] We use the phrase "first started" in a delusional attempt to persuade ourselves and others that we've learned and grown and matured as Los Angeles drivers. However, we were reminded again this weekend that we have learned nothing from our wayward driving past. On Friday, we were headed out on a Silverlake adventure with a friend much smarter and reasonable than ourselves. We were convinced -- convinced! -- that staying on whatever street we were on would take an offensive amount of time. So we hooked a left. We ended up roughly in Arizona. What John McCain and the Elderly Set previously had in common with Silverlake and the Hipster Set is unclear. What should be clear is that The Silverlake Adventure obviously didn't last long. [2]

Of course, in reality [3], the Adventure didn't last long due to another Lesson Learned But Soon Forgotten, the details of which need not be rehashed here. Also: for the good of humanity, they need not be rehashed on any other blog.

[3] Reality has a funny way of requiring lots and lots of footnotes.

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